THE LETTER
o-O-o
At seventeen I thought that my life was pretty much over. I was sick of
feeling like a loser at school and being rejected by all the other kids in
school and in my neighborhood.
Sure I am a computer geek, and I don't play sports, but I don't look like a
freak or anything. Maybe I'm a little skinny, and have a somewhat rough
complexion, but
there are hundreds of other guys out there that could be interchangeable with
me.
So why did the other kids always pick on me? What had I done to deserve this
type of ridicule?
o-O-o
It was just past 2 a.m. when I finally turned off my computer. I had been
online for more than 6 hours, since just after dinner. As the hard drive whirred
to a stop I stood and stretched my tense muscles. I and looked over at my
reflection in my bedroom closet-door mirror knowing full well what I was going
to do.
I had been surfing the X-rated web pages again and had been sitting there for
hours with my usual hardon. I stopped wearing underwear a long time ago because
of the mess I'd make with my pre-come oozing all over the place. These days I
always wear shorts so I can just pull my dick out and stroke it while I look at
stuff on the Internet.
As usual after a long session cruising the sex-net I needed to bring myself off.
So as I looked at my refection in the mirror I undressed, taking my time and
enjoying the sight of my hard nipples as I pulled my T-shirt off over my head.
The sight of my stiff cock popping into view as I pushed my shorts down to the
floor always pleased me. (I think that I have a really nice looking cock.)
I stood there looking at my body looking back at me. What was wrong with me? I
wondered for the thousandth time? I couldn't see any major defects, as a matter
of
fact I thought that my cock looked pretty impressive, and although I wasn't one
of those athletic hard bodies I thought I looked pretty good.
As I stood there I started to stroke my dick. The long hours of arousal looking
at all those X-rated web sites had made me almost comatose, but now that I'd
finally taken the situation in hand, my body thrilled at the sensations that it
was experiencing as I pulled the sensitive skin of my cock.
I watched carefully as my reflection tensed before me in its pleasure taking. I
leaned my upper body forward and stuck my butt out so I could slam my stroking
hand deeper giving my cock more sensation with longer thrusts.
As I stood there jacking off, faster and faster, my mind began to envision
Christine. God just the thought of her made me ready! Several more thrusts and I
was coming. As I spurted into my Kleenex, I imagined that I was coming in
Christine. For the millionth time.
I imagined her beautiful body spread out on a bed, legs open, arms stretched out
to me. I could feel our skin touching as I lay down between those perfect thighs
and
shoved my cock up into her moist pussy.
I could feel her luscious tits pressed against my chest as I rutted in and out
of her. She would grab my butt cheeks and try to shove deeper into her, I would
come in her and make her pregnant with me baby as she screamed in lust crazed
joy. We would marry and have lots of kids.
Then I was standing in my darkened room, with my come nestled in the Kleenex in
my hand. And I sighed, looking at my body in the mirror, wishing I had the nerve
to at least try to ask Christine for a date or something.
o-O-o
The morning came all too soon. Another school day and then off to my after
school job. And a strange job it was. I still didn't know why I had taken this
particular job from the work/school program. All I knew was that I liked getting
off an hour and a half early each day and I got paid to do it. But working at
the local mortuary didn't do much to help my reputation at school.
The good side of the job was that I was pretty much left alone, all I had to do
was clean the place after hours and then go home. This was a three-day a week
job from 8 p.m. till midnight and no one was ever there to criticize me or to
tell me what to do. So I goofed off a lot because it didn't really take more
than an hour and a half to do the work.
o-O-o
The next day I finally couldn't take it any more – I had to ask Christine
out. I knew that it was hopeless but I was so tired of fantasizing about it;
that I felt rejection was better than never knowing. I mean what if she actually
said yes! What if because I had
the guts to say something to her, we became friends, and who knew, we might even
become lovers in time.
I knew that Christine was different than the other girls. Although she was
beautiful and very popular she wasn't like so many of them, all stuck up with
herself. Every time I'd seen her she was always nice to the people she was
talking to. To me she was an angel, a beautiful unearthly vision; a person
beyond the normal standards.
I waited until lunchtime to try to talk to her. My hands were sweating all
morning long, and I couldn't concentrate on any of my morning classes as I
daydreamed of our encounter. In my imagination I saw her saying yes to me and
even giving me a little peck on the cheek to seal our date. I was in a fog of
romantic love and lust.
Which was firmly dashed into the gutter by 12:22 p.m. that day.
I hesitantly walked up to Christine at lunchtime. She was surrounded by friends
and as I got closer my nerves began to desert me. But taking a deep breath and
clenching my hands I walked right up to her and said, "Hi Christine, you
probably don't know me, but we're in the same home room. And, well -- I was
wondering -- if you might -- ah -- want to go to the movies with me -- or
something..."
As I held my breath in hopeful expectation, a varsity football player sauntered
over and sat down beside my dream girl. He put an arm around her and said good
naturedly, "Hey boy, you trying to move in on my girl?" Christine just stared
through me, sort of like I was causing a nuisance.
I mumbled, "Sorry, just kidding -- sorry..." And I got out of there fast, almost
running to get away from their view. I was so humiliated, how could I have
thought that a girl like Christine could have been interested in someone like
me? What an idiot I was to
even think it.
I spent the rest of that day in abject misery, alternating between wishing I was
dead, and wishing that everyone else in the school would die instead. But
finally 3:30 came and I was dismissed from class. Even though my job didn't
start until 8 p.m. I got to leave school early, supposedly to do my homework
since I'd also be working sometime during the evening.
As I walked home I stopped by the chain-link fence and watched as the
cheerleader squad came out onto the field. There was Christine in all her
beauty. Everything receded into the background as I stood there mesmerized,
watching her perfect body going through the squads practice routine.
I wanted that body, I wanted that girl almost more than life it's self. God how
I lusted after that woman. When they were done with their practice and gone from
the field, I finally turned and headed home – with only one thought in my head
-- get home and "get off" while I envisioned Christine taking my spurting cock
between her lovely lips.
o-O-o
Two days had passed since my rejection and humiliation at the hands of my
dream girl. She wouldn't know it but I had fucked her in the mouth and pussy
five times
since her rejection of me. But I was brought up short that morning when the
rumor spread through school that something had happened to Christine.
She was dead!? I couldn't believe it, how could something happen to a healthy
beautiful teenage girl, the object of my love. I was devastated, totally
whipped! I'd never see my dream lover again, god I wished that we could have
gotten to know each other better.
Apparently Christine had had a massive stroke while performing at the football
game the night before. The rumor was that she'd been taking drugs, something
like speed to give her extra energy. And she just collapsed right there during
the game. I still couldn't believe it.
That evening I almost called in sick, but I needed the money and knew that even
if my dream lover was dead, there wasn't much I could do but go on. So I dragged
my sorry self to work, arriving just as the mortuary staff was going off duty.
As I punched in, I over heard on of the morticians say, "Man what a waste, she
could have been a beauty queen. I really hate it when young kids bite the big
one like that. I hope they find the bastard who was feeding her those drugs."
I stopped in mid stride as I put two and two together. They were talking about
my Christine! She must have been brought in to this mortuary. My heart stopped
for a moment, could I see her one more time, one last time up close all by
myself?
I nervously waited while the last of the evening staff left. When I heard the
key in the lock indicating that the last person had left the building I rushed
to the morgue.
I normally stayed away from this area because it was so gross, and smelled
strange. But this night was different, this night my fantasy lover was there,
waiting for me.
I burst through the metal doors and looked wildly around the room. There were
three workstations in varying states of completion. I knew instantly which one
was Christine, she was in the while coffin with white silk showing from the open
hinged top. I don't know how I knew this from where I stood, but I was right.
A crept up to the raised coffin and looked in to see my fantasy laying
peacefully with her arms at her sides. My god, they had dressed her in her
cheerleader's uniform -- she looked so alive to me – I knew that if I shook her
that she'd sit up rubbing sleep from her eyes.
I couldn't resist the urge to try and awaken her. I reached a trembling hand out
and touched her face. It was cold, as cold as the room, which was pretty cold. I
shook her anyway, and although she moved with my pushes, she didn't wake up, but
then I didn't really think that she would.
I stood there for the longest time, drinking in her beauty. Even with her eyes
closed, lying in a coffin, she was the most beautiful girl in the world to me. I
felt this huge lose, the world had lost a bit of beauty that it would never be
able to get back.
I touched her lips with my fingers, rubbing them back and forth from corner to
corner, wishing that they had kissed me when they were alive. What a waste I
thought, what a terrible waste.
Then a strange thought popped into my head. I had this crazy urge to kiss her
goodbye. As the idea formed in my mind it was turned into action, yes I was
going to
kiss a dead girl. She might have rejected me in life, but now she would have to
accept my love, there was nothing she could do about it now -- was there?
I grabbed the step stool and climbed up and leaned over the silk lined coffin.
They had expertly made up her face, the eye-shadow looked just like she used to
wear, and her lips were covered with just the right shade of lipstick.
I looked into her lovely face for a long time. I was only inches away from her,
closer than I'd ever been before. Lovingly I touched her lips to mine, then
pulled away to look at her face again. I could taste the lipstick, I wanted to
sink into her to become one with my Christine, I loved her. I pressed my lips
tighter to hers and moved my head mashing our lips together like a passionate
lover.
She lay there and accepted my kisses. Then wanting to get closer I climbed into
the coffin with her, I couldn't help myself. There wasn't enough room for two of
us so I lay on top of her. I was hard now, painfully so. My heart was pounding a
mile a minute and I could feel that familiar wetness of pre-come in my
underwear.
I kissed her lips harder and smeared her lipstick as I lustfully smashed our
lips together. I pushed my tongue through her unresisting lips to run it along
her perfect teeth. God I loved her so.
After a bit, knowing that if I was caught something terrible would happen to me,
I pushed a hand up under Christine's sweater. My heart stopped as I realized
that the mortician hadn't put a bra on her. I guessed they didn't think she'd
care. Immediately I shoved my other hand up her short cheerleader skirt and was
rewarded with the feel of pubic hair flowing through my fingers.
I honestly had only wanted to kiss my fantasy lover goodbye, but now I had to do
more. As I unzipped my pants and shoved them down my thighs I wondered if
Christine had ever had sex with a guy in life. Well either way, I wouldn't let
her go to her grave without experiencing it at least once.
I was a sloppy mess, pre-come squishing everywhere as I pulled my painful rigid
cock out into the cool morgue air-conditioned room. Fumbling between our
crotches I position my live pulsing cock at her dead quietly excepting pussy.
It was strange, really strange, as I pushed my slick dick into her waiting body.
I could feel her love tunnel against my cock as I thrust home. The first thrust
into my lover was slightly painful, but I didn't care, I was living my fantasy,
I was fucking Christine, the most beautiful girl in school.
As I pulled back out and thrust into her again it was easier, and as I continued
to screw Christine I began to slip in and out of her body easily. Lost in my
lust for Christine I reached over with both hands and pulled at her thighs until
her wonderfully smooth legs rose slightly at the knees, allowing me even better
penetration.
I was in heaven, my body was raging, and my heart was thumping so hard that I
thought that I could actually hear it. I was sure that if Christine were alive
right
then, she would be enjoying my frantic lovemaking.
My minds-eye could actually see Christine underneath my humping body, she was
screaming at me to 'fuck her harder' and I did, but I knew that the moment had
come,
I could feel my seed welling up inside me.
One last thrust -- I jabbed cruelly into her, holding my cock buried as deeply
as I could -- and let go -- pumping my come into her, feeling my cock expand
each time I shot another gush into her body.
Finally I was done and pulled out.
I knelt over beautiful Christine and wiped my come covered cock along her
perfect lips, thinking how beautiful she looked lying there with my white come
mixed with her bright lipstick.
As I struggled out of Christine's coffin, I felt completely sated. She had given
me the gift of peace, finally letting me have her intimately. And I had given
her my little gift too.
As I stood on the stool beside her coffin looking down on her wonderful face,
the urge struck me to kiss her one last time. I could taste my come on her lips,
but I didn't mind, in fact I licked them clean. I'll never forget the taste of
my come mixed with her lipstick.
o-O-o
Looking back, I was pretty stupid at seventeen. I know that I was infatuated
with Christine, and I know that I was pretty miserable, but you'd think that I
would have at least noticed the surveillance camera in the ceiling of the
morgue.
When I had to look at what I did to Christine on the video in court, I couldn't
believe how gross it all looked, it hadn't seemed that bad while I was doing it.
Luckily I was only seventeen, because they can only hold me at the youth farm
for another 18 months and frankly I'd rather be fucked by my cell mate George
for the next year and a half, than some old crusty inmate at the federal prison.
I can barley wait to get out of detention, I'm a lot more experienced than I was
at seventeen, and this time I'll go for a live female.
And I won't take no for an answer this time...
Copyright by Sarah Anne Talley (1999).