The Angel
The beginning of summer. Evening, warm and tender. Night gives sweet dreams
to those who sleep. And a starry sky to those who didn’t catch a dream this
time. She sat by the open window watching the stars. Tonight they were tender as
never before. She would talk to the stars every night. Not with words, but with
emotions. Yes, emotions is the best word. Although it’s not perfect.
And the stars would talk to her every night, too. They told her their secrets,
for they were also very lonely in a way. She could sit by the open window
forever. It was so calm to be with the starry sky. For stars understand
everything. But sometimes they are cruel. For they never lie. They have no
reason to lie. And sometimes the truth is worse than lies. Yes, it happens like
that. When you wish it was all a dream.
But not tonight. Tonight the stars were kind. And she could feel them smile. She
felt so good... And she forgot about her everyday life. Black and hopeless.
Disgusting.
It was a wonderful evening. She wished it could last forever. There was not a
single bad thought in her mind. She wanted to live. For the first time in her
life she wanted to live. She sat daydreaming. She wanted to have wings, soft
white wings, she wanted to fly in the starry sky and watch the world from up
there. She wanted to become a little star. She imagined herself as a star: she
would give silly people her mysterious light and they wouldn’t even know who she
is.
Her sweet dreams were interrupted by warm wind. She heard a noise in the room.
She thought the wind might have dropped something on the floor. She turned
around and scanned the room, but everything was okay. She turned back and saw
something in the window.
A silhouette. She didn’t believe her eyes. It was an angel! An angel sat on her
window looking curiously in her eyes.
She froze. She couldn’t believe. Indeed, what would an angel be doing here, on
earth? And moreover, on her window?
Without saying a word, she approached him. She wasn’t scared. She stood before
him looking into his eyes. There were so calm. So pure. And a little bit sad.
A few hours seemed to have rushed by. She stood before him, afraid of saying
something, afraid of scaring him. She had no idea of how to behave with an
angel.
While he kept staring her straight in the eyes. Curious, he seemed to be looking
for something in her soul. Finally, he spread his wings – soft white wings she
had been dreaming of.
She was afraid he’d leave her now. She couldn’t believe everything would end
like that, that it will only be a memory from now on. A memory she’ll have to
herself since nobody would be interested...
But he didn’t fly away. He reached out his hand, inviting her to step into the
unknown. Without saying a word.
And she put her hand in his. Trusting this strange, but familiar creature. They
seemed to have known each other for ages. It was scary but enticing altogether.
Unknown has a very peculiar quality: it is always interesting to know what lies
beyond. It is scary but fear is weaker than curiosity. So it was with her.
She trusted that strange creature. Although angels can be deceitful. She didn’t
care. Let it be. She’d do anything to be with him...
And she saw him smile. And she realized she’d trade anything in the world for
his smile. Nobody else would have such a smile. Only he...
They got to the roof. They sat watching the starry sky. They couldn’t fall. He
couldn’t because he was an angel and angels don’t fall all of a sudden. And she
couldn’t fall because she was with an angel, she knew he wouldn’t let her
fall...
Her mind was wandering. She couldn’t understand what she was doing there on the
roof with an angel. And why wasn’t she scared? Why such strange trust? What kind
of a creature was that? No, no, no, this isn’t love, this cannot be love, angels
cannot be loved!
While he simply enjoyed her being with him. He was curious.
They didn’t say a single word during that night on the roof. But they felt like
they had told each other everything in the world...
The night ended...
She woke up and realized it was only a dream, that it was over and would never
happen again. She didn’t want to live any longer. It was decided. She wanted to
wait for the night, to say goodbye to the stars and leave this world... But in
the evening she saw him again, sitting on her window. It was happiness. Her own
happiness. Unique happiness. One glance, one motion – her hand in his hand, and
she forgot everything. There was nothing in the world except him. And she didn’t
need anyone or anything. Only him...
It went on every night. They would talk about unimportant matters or simply keep
quiet. He had an angelic voice. She could listen to him for ages. Each time she
asked questions that troubled the mankind for centuries, he didn’t answer. But
he only smiled and disappeared. And she left alone on the roof thinking he
didn’t know the answers. But he knew the answers. He just didn’t want to lose
her.
She realized she couldn’t live without him. Nothing mattered. There was nothing
in the world, only he.
One day he realized he couldn’t do without her. He needed her. And his blood
boiled in his veins because of that. He had always thought he couldn’t love. Can
angels love? No, they can only love themselves. People are their toys.
But he loved. He loved a human, a mortal. Why? Nobody knows. Maybe she was not
human? Maybe he was no angel? Riddles. So many riddles. Part of the game?
Probably. He would sure like to see the players. How many night passed since
their first meeting? Countless nights...
She lived from one night to another. From one meeting to another. The world
didn’t exist. There were no passersby with their gray faces, there was no city
with its dirty busy streets. Her life was with the angel. Love? Yes, it was
love. Real love. The one they make legends about. Trivial? Who cares.
Such love could have an unhappy ending. But exceptions only demonstrate the
rule, right?
One more night. They sat on the roof as usual. It was not necessary to speak,
they understood each other without words. But there was something strange in the
air. Maybe it was due to an unusually dark night. Maybe, in the unusually bright
stars. Something had to happen that night... and it did.
She was nervous although she didn’t understand why. Yes, he was sad. He couldn’t
conceal his sadness... anymore...
She caught his glance and she understood everything. The stars were out in the
dark shy as if they had arrived to see the unique show. A tear rolled down her
cheek. He could do nothing. Because nothing could be done. He would cry too, but
angels don’t cry. It was a rule. But who made this rule?
They tried to savor each and every moment of this last night.
And it was time to part.
They looked at each other. His eyes said, “I’m sorry”. Her eyes said he had
nothing to be sorry for...
They couldn’t understand why they were treated like that. Why can’t they be
together? But they couldn’t get answers. Since the only answer “This has to be
done” caused lots of other questions...
They couldn’t part. But the unknown power made them. She looked him in the eyes
one last time to remember him for ever. And she heard something she never
expected to hear. He took her hands in his and said, “I love you.” Only three
words that are worth dying for...
She answered him. Because she loved him, too. Their last kiss. She thought she’d
go insane in his arms. She forgot everything, and when she woke up he was
already gone. There was no happiness. Only pain.
She knew what to do. Just one step and it’ll all be over. Putting an end to
pain.
And she stepped forward. Into the abyss.
She flew down. Without wings, but she flew.
This is it. The story, their story, is it an exception?
He was an angel. An angel of death, as people call him. He came for her. Because
the world was no place for her anymore. She was a different creature. A creature
of a different world. She didn’t die. Because her love didn’t die. For love is
stronger than life and stronger than death. You don’t believe me? You’re wrong.
She opened her eyes. Where is she? She had no idea. She felt the last touch of
the ground, but there was no pain. Is she dead? Or is she still alive?
That voice... So familiar! Now they are creatures of the same world.
She rose to her feet. What a strange feeling – why is her back aching a little?
Oh, these are the wings! She’s got soft white wings. Now she can fly. And she
won’t fall. And she can touch the stars...
The End.
Copyright by Lilith (2002).