The Souvenir

I am going to tell you a gruesome story which happened to me while I was just 25 years old and did not not much know about the dark sites of the human mind. It happened in the last years of the Third Reich which was supposed to last for at least 1000 years but actually was finished after just 12 terrible years. I had just finished my law studies and had applied for a job at the Ministry of Justice. They told me I could have a job provided I had the right papers (I had to prove that there
were no Jewish ancestors in my parents families ) "Oh , yes" the man in charge for the recruitments added: "I assume you are member"
"Member of what ?" I asked naively.
The man looked startled. "But of the NSDAP of course: Don't tell me you have been studying law for 4 years and you have no political allegiance to the party?"
I had to admit I had not, I had devoted all my efforts to my studies and had not realized what had happened all around me: of course I had realized that we had been in war for almost 3 years, but this was more a nuisance than anything else to me and good relations had helped me to avoid the military service. Now I just thought of getting a good job at some official place which again prevented me from having to go to the Russian front or some other not so nice place "to protect my fatherland". Getting a party member card was a matter of days, it took a little longer to prove that I had no "Jewish blood".

Finally I began my job at the Ministry, but it was less exciting than I had expected. It was a job every good accountant could have made and consisted of inspecting the regular expenses bulletins which were sent to us by the local prisons. We had an office of five employees and every month one of us was sent to one of the numerous prisons in the Reich to make a thorough control of their accounting. My first outside assignment was that of the famous prison Ploetzensee in Berlin. My co-workers exchanged malicious smiles and one of them said: "Ask him about the skull!" They would not tell me more and so I was a little puzzled during my travel to Berlin. I had asked my uncle (the one with the good relations) but he did not know anything about a skull and assured me that the director (who had promoted in Guttingen together with him) was a very kind and cultivated man.
So I arrived in Berlin-Ploetzensee , showed my papers at the gate and was introduced into the grim brick buildings. I was led into the main office, they showed me where all the files were stored and I began my tedious work.
There were a lot of intriguing invoices: a Berlin hardware company charged 5 Reichsmark for sharpening a blade, this sort of invoice appeared at regular intervals, there was one invoice for 20 "Deutsche Polizei" handcuffs and some other restraints of which I had never heard in my life. 
Two hours later I had finished my work and began to put the files back in their hanging drawers, when suddenly I heard a voice behind my back: "Everything is in order, I guess?" I was really startled as I had not heard him approach. He presented himself to me. "Hans Weberknecht,
director of the prison"
After we had made the presentations and I told him everything was in perfect order, he said. "Why do not come to my office for a few moments to have a cigarette. "I agreed and followed him to his office: He offered me a seat and sat down behind a huge wooden desk: He was a rather small person and almost disappeared to my view. "Oh, sorry" he said and passed me his cigarette etui: "Please take one" I helped myself and looked for matches. Then I saw "IT" and it almost took my breath: a grinning human skull, looking as if it had been polished, the top of it had been sawed off and replaced by an ornamented silver ashtray, at the side a matchbox holder had been added. "Don't look so surprised" he told me, "that's how we all will be one day, sooner or later" Feverishly I took a match, trying not to touch the ebony white skull, and lit my cigarette. "I think you would like to know more about this skull: I will tell it in due time, but first let me tell you another story, a story about my first big love."
He made himself comfortable in his big leather chair and began.
"My career started probably the same way as yours, I was first in the Ministry of Justice, this was before 33. When Hitler came in charge there have been a lot of people who lost their jobs in the administrations, some have even been deported to Dachau. I was not in the Party but had good relations and so my career was very quick. A few years later I was appointed director of this prison: in the beginning I had some ideas about humanizing the prison and improving the prisoners situation but soon I was aware that this was not seen very well in higher places. Then began the period of massive executions: in my first year we had only two executions: one was a brutal individual convicted of mass murder. He was executed with an axe: It was a real gruesome affair, but I had no regrets for him when the executioner cut off his head. Then the guillotine was
introduced, the first one was built by the prisoners, we made some tests with animals but id did not work correctly and it was never used. The new model was built by a German company from Solingen: They normally produce knives and have the right know how for the blades. Now, if you have never seen a German guillotine, let me tell you that it does not look like the ones you know from the French Revolution: These were tall wooden machines with a blade falling down from a considerable height: The German model is a metal construction, not even 2 m high, and the blade has three times the weight of the French one. But let me assure you it is as deadly as the "guillotine Françoise": The severed head falls in a metal container fixed at the front of the machine. Now,
to come back of my first experiences with executions: the second delinquent was a woman, but I must admit that I had no pity with her. She was a plump woman of 65 and she had killed her husband and two people in her neighborhood by poisoning them. When she was led to the guillotine she screamed and fought and the executioner had to knock her unconscious before he could strap her on the board. Then it was a question of seconds before her head went into the bucket."

He looked at me: "I hope this is not too annoying for you" He smiled. "Ok, I will continue to tell you about my first real, big love. It was some years later, we had at regular intervals executions with the guillotine, some were members of the resistance, we had also some people who had deserted the army, a lot of women too had been sentenced to death. The usual procedure was that the condemned was held in solitary right after the judgment, they had to wear handcuffs even in
their cell. The evening before the execution a "Staatsanwalt" came to their cell, announced that they would be executed next morning. The procedure itself lasted no longer than 20 seconds from entering the execution room to the executioner declaring "Das Urteil ist vollstreckt"

Now it was in the year 42 when we received four French resistants all sentenced to death. Among them was a young girl of about 18, her name was Marie Dubois. Of course this was not her real name as she wanted to protect her family in France. She had been tortured by the Gestapo in Paris but they never knew her real identity: So she was sent to Berlin for more interrogations: Finally the Gestapo lost patience and transferred her to the "Volksgerichtshof" who tried her under the name
of Marie Dubois. She was sentenced to death and sent to Ploetzensee. It is one of my duties to visit the condemned some days before their execution: I knew it was scheduled one week from then but I was not supposed to tell the prisoner until the very last day. When I entered the cell, she had been sitting on the bed and crawled back and looked at me with fearful eyes: it was evident that she had been raped numerous times during her prison stay. "No, I will not harm you" I told her in French "I am the director of this prison and just want to make sure everything is in order" She was surprised that I spoke her language and immediately began to address me in French. "Slowly, my girl" I told her, "I speak and understand French but you must have patience with me, I never was in France and only know what I have learned in school" Soon we were able to exchange some conversation: She asked me if I could take off her handcuffs. She showed me the bruises and scratches they had already produced on her slender wrists. "Sorry , I cannot do that: It is regulation: I do not even have a key to these: But I will ask the guard to make them a little less tight." I called for the female guard who was in charge of the women prisoners in this part of
the prison. She grunted something about "But, they are no too tight" but complied to my wishes and left the cell: The girl rubbed her wrists and said. "Merci, monsieur": I was astonished how young she looked, she surely was 18 but was very frail - 1m55 at most and not much more than 40 kg. 
I asked her about her family but she did not respond, probably she thought I had been send by the Gestapo: I left her cell and while going back to my office I still had in mind this handcuffed girl in the striped blue and white prison uniform: I wished I could save her from the guillotine...
The next day I went back to her - this was not really allowed by the regulations. As a director I had some privileges but it was not well seen by the authorities if a director spent too much time with a single prisoner - especially if this prisoner was of the opposite sex. This time we talked a lot about France, even if she did not tell me from what region of France she came from. She still did not trust me...

So I visited her regularly - sometimes twice a day - and finally we became friends: I brought her cigarettes and she smoked each one feverishly as if it was her last. The day of her scheduled execution approached and I had not much time left: So I told her that I have fallen in love with her (that was the truth) and that I would try to save her life (I had no idea how I could manage that). This time we made love in her cell. I had bribed the female guard so I was sure nobody would come to interfere. For her age she was a real expert and when I finally left her she had given me everything I expected: I promised her to come back later in the night to talk about my plan. When I came back some hours later I found her all weeping. She had received the visit of the Staatsanwalt who had announced her the pending execution next morning. As it was the custom she had been restrained with heavy legirons at her ankles and her hands had been cuffed behind her back. I took her in my arms and tried to comfort her: "I have prepared everything. This night I will traffick the guillotine, so next morning when the blade falls down, it will stop before reaching your head. The blade has a considerable weight so don't be afraid if you feel a little commotion on your neck" "Then I will be pardoned?" she asked naively. "No, it is not as easy as that: If the machine fails, they will try again. After the second unsuccessful try, they will bring you back to the cell and send for a repair man. The execution will be carried out next morning."
"So , what's the use of all this, if I will be executed anyway"
"Trust me, my girl, I will arrange for you to escape tomorrow night: I could have done it tonight but the preparations are not ready"
"But won't they suspect you. After all you have shown quite an undue interest in my person"
"Of course they will suspect me, but I will come with you: I have contacted some people of the French resistance and in a few days we will be in safety until the war ends"
We exchanged kisses and I left.

The next morning as it was my duty I was present at the execution room: I exchanged a few words with the executioner who told me: "That's not quite reglementary what you want to do, but go ahead, do as your like"
At exactly 7.00 a.m. Marie was brought into the execution room, hands cuffed in the back, the chains of her legirons rattling over the concrete floor. She shuddered when she saw the guillotine for the first time in her life, but then she adressed me a knowing smile and offered no resistance when she was strapped to the board. Her neck was placed in the lunette then the executioner nodded to me. I went in face of the machine and tenderly took her head between my hands: I applied a kiss
to her lips and heard the Staatsanwalt saying "Scharfrichter, walten sie ihres Amtes!" The blade came down with a hissing sound and neatly cut off Maries head which I received in my hands. It was dripping with blood but I did not care: Delicately I lifted it up and took the direction to my office. When leaving the execution room, I saw Maries headless body still strapped to the guillotines board, her hands still cuffed behind. When I was alone in my office I put the severed head of my beloved girl on my desk and inspected it carefully: There was no fear, not even surprise in her look, her face was that of a happy woman, a woman who had just received a kiss from her lover and was sure that he had done everything to save her from the guillotine. Of course I could not have done what I promised her: trafficking the guillotine, fleeing with her to France, but at least I have spared her the terrible last sensations of someone knowing that his head will be cut off in a few seconds"

The story of the director had ended, he remained silent and looked through the window of his office. I did not want to interrupt his thoughts, but one thing still puzzled me: "But ... the skull? What about this skull ?" He looked at me smiling. "I guess you have guessed already. This is Marie ..." He shoved the macabre ashtray over the desk towards me: "I have asked a friend of mine who works in the anatomy, to prepare it for me. I think you will not want to know all the details of such a preparation: maceration, cooking, use of acids. Then I had the idea of this ashtray, as she liked smoking, and so I have her always near me ...
I saw that he was weeping silently and when I left he handed me over a sealed letter. "I think I can trust you. If one day you hear of my death, open this envelope"

Six months later the Russians entered Berlin. During the last days hundreds of prisoners had been executed in Ploetzensee. When the Red Army finally liberated the prison, they found the headless bodies piled up next to the bloodstained guillotine. I heard that they found the director in his office: He had shot himself in the head. A skull was never mentioned in any report.

At that time I had been on inspection tour in Cologne. When I heard of Weberknechts suicide I opened his letter: it contained a paper with the real identity of "Marie Dubois", the address of her parents and a letter Marie had written some days before her execution...

The End

Copyright by Max Headroom (2002).

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